my soldier

so it has been 2weeks since brandon left....it feels like forever...i miss him so much i dont even kno how to explain it...and i love that while hes in kuwait for a couple weeks he can call me unlike whe nhe goes to bagdad he wont be able to as much....he said he has been writing me but is doing it in journal form which is fine idc lol.....and said once he has a few pages written he will mail it out instead of sending me a letter everyday with just a little writing which to me either way idc what kind of letter i get lol and we got one of those magazines in the mail other day from figi (which they so the whole cheese and sausage packs they do round holidays) and i thought hmmmm wonder if they will ship that stuff to iraq cuz if they do then id send him a bigger package and then he can share it all with the boys.....well the ones i like and kno anyway lol....they deserve it and im sure theyd love some real food.....anyways he called on monday and i had him on speakerphone OMG u should have seen lil austin he kept looking around for brandon since he heard his voice and didnt kno it was coming from my phone at first he just kept looking around and talking as he was askin me mommy wheres my brandon.....it was adorable then when he figured out it was the phone he was all about tryin to get to my phone....ya dont think he misses brandon do ya lol since thats all he knows since his real dad is well we wont get into that today............fucker have fun supportin a dog maybe ull do that better than my son..........i mean ummmmmm anyways back to the love of my life lol next time he calls hes going to talk to dad and ask dad if he can have my hand in marriage since he hadnt asked yet and i dont want to plan on doing anything and have him wait till march and dad say no(not that he would) but still itd be a waste lol.....but we decided that in march since we are short on time for leave we will just do the whole courthouse thing in pennsylvania and then go to dinner with his family afterwards and then when he gets back from iraq for good we will do the CAV wedding(military wedding) with the guys who make an isle with there swords and uncross them as we walk thru and then the last guy to do that i guess hits me on the ass after were done walkin thru with his sword(idk y they just do) kinda like a congrats or good game thing lol but i told brandon he could have his military wedding since i pretty much get wtvr i want outside of the ceremony.......rings, dress, cake, whatever i want which is odd cuz im sooo not used to a guy treating me all the time i was always one to take care of the guys i have been with....but this time im gettin treated like i should be and taken care of like i should be along with austin.....sooo now we just sit by the phone and wait for brandon to call and talk to my dad and then tell me what dad says and go from there............i love you brandon jay morse with all my heart u come home to me soon and safe.........your lil buddy loves and misses u 2

YAY

i got to talk to my baby today!! thank god i was on break at work to talk to him....and then he told me not to worry cuz he will be able to call me on sundays!!! thanks god i was worried there for a min and then he also told me that he has his mid tour leave march 1-15 and he wants to get married then!!! ahhhhh 5 months!!! i have 5 months to plan shit!!! holy hell i dont kno how im gonna pull that off but i will......but thats ok he made my day and made me smile all day i was soooo happy....and austin is crawling like crazy and then on top of that hes standing up!!!! he had a hold of the play pen and stood up!!! i am not ready for this lil man to walk yet lol but thats ok......well thats all for now off to bed lol gotta get up again nice and early for work before i have a week off since there doin a shut down at work cuz way economy is sooooo yea i get laid off for a week and then few more times before january....GREAT lol

not easy

soooo i havent seen brandon since thursday night.....it really sucks....i hate it and i want him back from iraq right now.....he called a lil bit ago and i didnt recognize the number so i ignored it...it was him calling me from a calling card....hes in kuwait right now will be there a few days before they throw him into the fire but he said hes doin ok and he will call later as they arent doing anything i hope he does so i can talk to him...well i kno ill never ignore a call again!!!! even if im at work lol ill say ummm brb idc hes more important than a damn job!!! he also was seeing if austin was doing ok....as those 2 are attached at the damn hip they are inseperable LITERALLY!!! they both go thru withdrawls without each other.....he also told me that he loved me (which i knew) but still nice to hear...i keep lookin at all the pics that we have and have taken lol.....i have his kat von d blanket he had and his comforter on my bed....i snuggle with them cuz they smell like him and guess what u kno how the scent leaves eventually....well he gave me his bottle of colonge that way i can spray it when its gone!!!! so now itll always smell like him!!! i love it....and well its been a week and a day since ive been engaged!!!!! yes u read that right ENGAGED!!!!! he asked me the last weekend we were together in front of everyone....we were at a cook out with like 20plus of his guy friends in army plus all the gfs or wives and he got down n asked me in front of all of them...and of course i said yes...i have my pics up on myspace!!! now the only part of it is that i will eventually have to tell mike......dun dun dun.....dunno when or how but i kno EVENTUALLY ill have to tell him.....not for his blessing cuz regardless im going to be with who i love and everything but i still have to tell him 4 austins sake....not that he may care or want to hear it but its out of respect to let him kno.....the hardest part of it all tho is when its time to make the big move to pa.....how in the world will that work tellin mike that HA.....anyways i think im doing a lil better than i thought i would be these couple days but i have been keeping myself very very very busy and not letting myself think about it all....works going good...been driving the fork lift all week cuz thats what they hired me to do soooo ive got that down now there just puttin me into different departments at a time to train more....and learn where shit goes and possible fill in spots if someone calls in sick.....my austin is now 22 lbs 8oz and is 28 n a half inches long....dad took him to wic appt for me as i was at work....i got to get a new car seat tho as they said hes to big for one we have....FRICKIN A yea i gotta save at LEAST 140 bucks for one....owell hes worth it lol....well i think thats pretty much it for now.....now to just sit by the phone and wait for my love my life and my soldier to call me........oh yea austin crawls....says momma, dadda(havent told mike that yet) ummmm sits up great and is startin to try to use the sippy cup lol not going well all he does is just chew on the nipple....owell thats the latest!!